It’s actually my third book, but this time rather than face a battery of rejections from Literary agents, I decided to self publish it exclusively on Amazon.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/The-Perfect-Crime-Laiton-Detective-ebook/dp/B00IXL904U/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1394558459&sr=8-1&keywords=Sandy+Mould

It’s a detective story that is hopefully amusing and an easy read, though I must warn you rude words are used. It’s around 75,000 words long and will set you back £1.84. If you down load it and like it, please tell everyone you know. If you don’t like it, you’ve only lost £1.84 and a few hours.

If the link above doesn’t work for you, just put Sandy Mould into the search on Amazon.co.uk. “The Perfect Crime. A Laiton Tray Detective Story by Sandy Mould” should come out at the top of the list.

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Chaos reigns within.

Reflect, repent, and reboot.

Order shall return.

 

Errors have occurred.

We won’t tell you where or why.

Lazy programmers.

 

The code was willing.

It considered your request,

but the chips were weak

 

Login incorrect.

Only perfect spellers may

enter this system.

 

Stay the patient course.

Of little worth is your ire.

The network is down.

 

To have no errors

would be life without meaning.

No struggle, no joy.

 

You step in the stream,

but the water has moved on.

This page is not here.

 

No keyboard present.

Hit F1 to continue.

Zen engineering?

Well here are some actual messages sent out by management.

What I need is a list of specific unknown problems we will encounter.

How long is this Beta guy going to keep testing our stuff?

E-mail is not to be used to pass on information or data. It should be used only for company business.

Turnover is good for the company, as it proves that we are doing a good job in training people.

This project is so important, we can’t let things that are more important interfere with it.

Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the schedule.

No one will believe you solved this problem in one day! We’ve been working on it for months. Now, go act busy for a few weeks and I’ll let you know when it’s time to tell them.

And the prize-winning quote:

As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building using individual security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday and employees will receive their cards in two weeks.

 

 

ACTIVE SOCIALLY: Drinks heavily.

UNLIMITED POTENTIAL: Will stick with us until retirement.

QUICK THINKING: Offers plausible excuses for errors.

TAKES ADVANTAGE OF EVERY OPPERTUNITY TO PROGRESS: Buys drinks for superiors.

TACTFUL IN DEALING WITH SUPERIORS: Knows when to keep mouth shut.

APPROACHES DIFFICULT PROBLEMS WITH LOGIC: Finds someone else to do the job.

A KEEN ANALYST: Thoroughly confused.

SPENDS EXTRA HOURS ON THE JOB: Miserable home life.

CONSCIENTIOUS AND CAREFUL: Scared.

DEMONSTRATES QUALITIES OF LEADERSHIP: Has a loud voice.

JUDGEMENT IS USUALLY SOUND: Lucky.

KEEN SENSE OF HUMOR: Knows lots of dirty jokes.

GETS ALONG EXTREMELY WELL WITH SUPERIORS AND SUBORDINATES ALIKE: A coward.

OF GREAT VALUE TO THE ORGANIZATION: Turns in work on time.

IS UNUSUALLY LOYAL: Wanted by no-one else.

HARD WORKER: Usually does it the hard way.

ENJOYS JOB: Needs more to do.

HAPPY: Paid too much.

COMPETENT: Is still able to get work done if supervisor helps.

CONSULTS WITH SUPERVISOR OFTEN: Annoying.

WILL GO FAR: Relative of management.

SHOULD GO FAR: Please.

VERY CREATIVE: Finds 22 reasons to do anything except work.

USES RESOURSES WELL: Delegates everything.

DESERVES PROMOTION: Create new title to make h/h feel appreciated.

We’d love to give an exciting reason involving traveling around the globe rescuing businesses from a multitude of employment law related tribunals, while creating jaw dropping e-learning tools that help make their staff world beaters in their chosen fields, implementing new IT systems that revolutionise how they do things and develop their managers to dizzy new heights in leadership. Even better if, along the way, we’d eradicated Mumps, found a cure for reality TV and stopped Americans yelling “get in the hole” after a par 5 tee off.

Sadly the reason is not half as exciting. We’ve been too busy!

With new contracts with a national supermarket chain to provide training for an Oracle PeopleSoft implementation and an internationally based electronics company to bring terms and conditions in four continents into line, alongside our on-going commitments to all our other clients, finding the time to update both this blog and the websites ‘Latest News’ section has been difficult.

As a result for the time being the news updates are going to be seasonal – we’ve just published the summer news -, and this blog will get updated whenever possible. Of course we are still on the end of the phone so don’t hesitate to get in touch if there’s anything we can do to help.

It has been announced that the default pension age will be scrapped on October 1st 2011.

Under the new plans there will be a six month transition from the existing regs.

6th April 2011

From this date employers cannot issue any notifications for compulsory retirement using the existing procedures

6th April – 1st October 2011

Only people notified prior to 6th April and whose retirement is before 1st October can be compulsory retired

1st October 2011

From this date employers will not be able to compulsory retire employees using the Default Pension Age. If they will to use a retirement age they must be able to demonstrate that these can be justified objectively.

It is also proposed that the requirement to give 6 months notice of retirement will be dropped as will the employees ‘right to request’ to work past retirement age

For more information about retirement or other employee issues, contact us 

This is a subject that seems to come up when ever there is a downturn. Whether it is a general economic downturn, an industry wide slow down or just a drop off in the sales ledger of an individual firm.  I remember it being a hot topic of conversation in the early 90’s when the economic cycle was going downwards, and discussed it in the board room under the subject title “Redundancy”.

I’ve always struggled to put forward an argument that you should not cut back, which as a Trainer offering a range of Training courses is a bit of a problem. For me there are a number of different reasons for and types of training;

  • Core skills that people need to carry out their jobs
  • Development training to increase the skills and abilities of the workforce or members of it
  • Feel good activities to help teams bond or as a form of reward

If a training budget is split into these three areas it becomes much easier to discuss and make decisions on what should be spent on which areas and where any savings can be made, rather than just taking a slice off the total budget.

There is no point having someone in a position if they do not have and are not given the skills or knowledge needed to do the job. For the other two areas the decision comes down to judgement. Will that talented member of staff leave if they don’t get the management training they’re after? Is there another way to get a team  to bond rather than sending them to chomp over the hills in Derbyshire.

Maybe in a time of hardship HR and training professionals need to take a broader look at how they advise owners, directors and managers. Less of the tickbox approach and more creative looking at the deeper reasons for a training request perhaps.